L is for ...

L is for Life Is Good!

2011-01-26T16:30:00.000-08:00

I just got back from OHSU and my cancer check was clear! No tumors in ankle and chest-scan clear. I don't even have to go back for 8 months. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

L is for less bumps in the road, please...

2010-11-12T20:22:00.000-08:00

On November 18th it will be two years since I found out I had cancer. I am a survivor! It has been a very bumpy road, tests, radiation, skin damage, healing, more tests, and more tests to come (Jan 26th). I have also gotten divorced, another bumpy road, separation, crying, loss, single motherhood, negotiation, paperwork, and now Ms. Borja. I wanted to ask for a smooth road ahead for at least the next two years. Then I was shown this quote from Jack London:

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time"

I know the only way to avoid the bumpy road of life would be to stop driving, not ever leave my house, never talk to anyone and not watch the news. I realize that I do want to drive and find all the potholes, listen to my boys laugh when the van wiggles with the bumps in the road. I am a survivor, but I do not just exist like a sleepy planet – I live!

Wow - it has been a long time since I have blogged, so here are some pictures from August - the boys and I at the beach - Living la Vida Loca!

L is for looks like more sunshine!

2010-06-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

I have great news about my cancer scans - all my results were clear! I don't have to go back until January. I am going outside now to enjoy the Oregon sunshine with my family! Looking forward to more sunshine in my life!

L is for less blogging more living life

2010-05-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

I have realized that I have been blogging less, but have also realized that I don't miss it much. I have been too busy really enjoying life! Since my last blog Luke has been playing spring soccer, William has been playing baseball ,Jake has been just Jake, I have been taking long walks with Stormy between rainy days, teaching Sunday school, scrapbooking, lots of meetings for the schools, volunteer time, May 1st was Luke's first communion, Oma visited for a week, starting taking yoga classes, hiked at Fort Hoskins for Mother's Day, May 22-23 Relay for Life - our team raised over $3,000 and I stayed awake for more than 24 hours. Today I realized that with all this busy time my ankle has been hurting less and less. I go back for more scans on June 23rd, but feel my life is moving more each day from cancer patient to cancer survivor!

L is for Lucia

2010-04-06T21:50:00.001-07:00

When we were in Chicago on Spring Break we got to meet Lucia for the first time. She is the boys first girl cousin and my first niece. She is almost one. I did not realize how much Luke loves babies - even today he said "I miss Lucia!". One picture is me with Lucia and the other picture is Jake, Luke, Bryce (another cousin), Lucia and William. We had a wonderful trip spending time with family and friends. The weather was mild except for the one day when it snowed all day.

L is for Leaving on a jet plane

2010-03-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

The boys and I fly to Chicago for Spring Break tomorrow - St. Patrick's Day - I wonder if they give us green water on the plane? We return on March 24th with a few days to relax before the boys are back in school. We are looking forward to time with family and visits with friends in Wisconsin. Please pray for no snow because I do not miss that!

L is for Living

2010-03-03T16:14:00.000-08:00

Great News! Another clear check on my cancer - all good for my ankle and chest scans. Left at 8am this morning with my Aunt Susan and returned at 4pm. Nice to get scans and results on the same day. Aunt Susan and I even got to squeeze in a yummy lunch. Happy Spring! I will go back again June 23rd and then enjoy a wonderful summer.

L is for one less doctor

2010-01-25T21:43:00.000-08:00

Last week I went to see my radiation doctor in Salem for a check-up on my ankle. It has been one year since I started my radiation. He says it looks good and since I already go to OHSU every 4 months he does not need to see me anymore. Yeah! He just told me to be careful with my ankle and if I need to kick something to use my left foot. It makes me think about what I would want / need to kick and if I had to concentrate to use my left foot, maybe I should just not kick anything.

L is for little one not so little anymore

2010-01-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

Jake turned 5 on January 4th. He mostly acts like he is 8 or 10 and the scary part is that he does a good job of it - plays all DS and Wii games without my help. Here is a picture with his brothers. Sorry it took me so long to post, but it has been busy getting the boys back onto the school schedule.

L is for little treasures

2009-12-08T21:54:00.000-08:00

On Friday night we went to the city of Dallas tree lighting, this is our 3rd year to go. The boys favorite part is racing from the side walk to the tree while we are waiting for Santa to arrive on his motorcycle. I brought two of William's friends and so I had the best time watching 5 boys run around like crazy playing tag. Jake is even old enough to keep up with the big boys. We enjoyed free hot chocolate and cookies too! We have not waited in line to see Santa because the boys never showed any interest, but this year Jake was really thinking hard about it. The line was really long and it was very cold out, so I was able to talk him out of it. Lucky for me I found Santa at a doggy day care on Saturday. We took Stormy to get her picture with Santa and Jake got to see him up close. I was so happy the boys wanted to be in the picture. It reminds me of the simple things in life can be little and big treasures. Merry Christmas!

L is for Life

2009-11-11T15:51:00.000-08:00

I got great news from my tests at OHSU - still cancer clear! I need to go back again in March for same tests - MRI of ankle and CT of chest.

I feel like in the last few weeks it has been harder to live my life - just worried about these tests and results. I am now at my 1 year anniversary since my diagnosis of cancer. I am still trying to figure out how to celebrate that.

I hope to now more forward each day living happier and healthier than the day before - at least until March when I start to worry again.

Thanks again for all your positive thoughts and prayers. I still enjoy listening to my ipod playlist that I created last year from all the song suggestions from my friends and family.

L is for who is in charge?

2009-10-13T15:33:00.001-07:00

I keep wanting to return to my thankful list but daily distractions or my procrastination stops me. I have not added to my list since April and I am shocked at myself that it has taken me this long. So today I am taking charge for 5 minutes to list the things I am thankful for numbers 56 - 61.

56. Stormy - had to show this picture - we are having so much fun with her.
57. Sunrises - I see more since I get up with the dog every morning.
58. Sunsets - I see more since I take her out at night.
59. Waking up William - letting Stormy into William's bed to wake him up - it is what he has always been wanting a dog for and it brings joy to my day first thing in the morning.
60. Meeting Luke at the bus - some days he will let me and I bring Stormy - he is more excited to see her than me - I love how he has taken her into his heart.
61. Walks - Jake, my neighbor Susan, her dog Cricket, Stormy and I took a walk today even in the rain - I would not have been able to get Jake out for a walk in the rain if it were not for Stormy.

L is for love the beach

2009-09-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

I really love the beach when the weather is this perfect. The boys and I took quick trip to the beach late on Monday. We had a blast - I only felt a little guilty having so much fun on a school night.

I saw my radiation doctor in Salem and he thinks my skin looks good and will just follow up with me again in January - he told me to have a good holiday season - I was confused - it does not seem that it would be that time of year already, but by the time I see him in January all those crazy busy days will have come and gone. My ankle is feeling almost normal - no swelling or itching. Next check is OHSU in November.

PS: Happy Birthday Mom - Thanks for your constant love and support!

L is for Learning

2009-08-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

This summer I took an online class on how to write children's book. I enjoyed the class, but I had forgotten how much time and effort goes into learning. I have now written two stories and had fun with the process. I am now trying to decide if I want to continue the process or have fun with other dreams - cooking contests, scrapbooking, raising three wonderful boys, etc. I did not have much time for fun reading while taking the class because it was online you spend a lot of time reading other classmates posts. So I just finished reading a great book The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan - she writes about her fight with cancer for herself and her father. It reminded me so much of my time during my treatments and all of the support I got from my friends and family - thank you again. I am once again thinking of my thankful list and will work on adding to it soon.

Stormy update - she has barked 3 times in the two and a half weeks we have had her. She is very playful and loving - the boys are really loving having a dog.

Enjoy the last few weeks of summer!

L is for living longer

2009-08-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

Today is my 41st birthday! I got a card from a dear friend that said "Birthdays are a gift from God". I totally agree. This morning I got to help William take Stormy, our new dog, out for the first morning - we got caught in the automatic sprinklers in our pajamas - it was very funny. Stormy is the best dog - she has not barked once. William and Luke are at soccer camp and Jake and I are playing board games. William says he taught Stormy a trick called "hug". See picture! I love it when you came make their dreams come true - Happy Birthday to Me!

L is for lighter than air!

2009-07-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

My Mom and I just went on a hot air balloon ride. We had a fantastic time and if you get the chance you should go. We had to be in Newberg, OR at 5:15am so we left my house at 4:15am.

It was beautiful weather and a nice breakfast after. Here are some pictures.

L is for Long day, but worth it!

2009-07-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

I will start out with the end results of the day - all of my scans at OHSU are clear of cancer! I will go back again in 4 months for the same scans. My first appointment this am was at 9:45 for CAT scan of lungs (usually 10 minutes), then 10:30 am for MRI of ankle and foot ( usually 2 hours) and then 3:30pm to get results from my doctor. I got delayed in traffic for an hour and a half and thought I would not be able to make any of my scans. Luckily everyone was having a late day so when I showed up at 11am I waited for 45 minutes for my CAT scan - it still only took 10 minutes, then I waited another 1/2 hour for my MRI - it still took close to 2 hours. I had about 1/2 hour to have some lunch before I got to see my doctor for results - he was on time. Now I am home getting ready to go out for a celebration dinner. I plan to make the most of the next 120 days before my next scans.

Disney Pictures

2009-07-06T16:23:00.000-07:00

L is for lines

2009-06-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

I just realized it has been a month since my last blog entry. I guess the kids have been keeping me very busy.

We just returned from a week in Disneyland and we had a great time - lots of wonderful memories. Some of my favorite time was spent waiting in lines for rides - that may seem strange, but you really get a chance to watch other people and talk to the people you are waiting with - Disney does a good job of keeping the lines moving. We had been to Disney World most often when we lived in Wisconsin, so this was my first trip to Disneyland since my teenage years. I was surprised at how little Cinderella's castle is compared to the one at Disney World and how large the Small World ride looks compared to the ride at Disney World. I will try to upload some pictures in the next few days.

I just started an online class on how to write children's books - it was fun to have my first week of class and be on vacation at the same time.

I have my next follow up at OHSU on July 8th - I will let you all know the results.

L is for lazy summer days?

2009-05-28T16:54:00.000-07:00

Jake is already done with his first year of pre-school. William and Luke only have 4 and 1/2 school days until they are done. I am looking forward to a relaxing summer, but I already see our calender filling up with vacation bible school, road trip to Disneyland, Rudishauser family reunion in Silverton, Scott family reunion in Pacific City and soccer camp. I am sure we will also squeeze in trips to the Roaring Rivers Fish Hatchery, Portland Zoo, Gilbert house, OMSI, and Enchanted Forest. I am already exhausted thinking about all we are going to do, not so lazy days of summer, but I know I will enjoy each moment with my boys!

I had an appointment with my radiation Doctor yesterday - my ankle keeps healing, but the surgery site still has a little opening - he says it should be healed by the end of summer - the one time when I want time to go faster is with the healing process, but I will be patient. I go back to OHSU in July for more scans.

L is for lots and lots and lots of walking

2009-05-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

I participated in the Relay for Life on Friday and Saturday - each team had to walk for 25 hours - it was the 25th anniversary of the relay. Our team was the Whitworth Wolves - William and Luke's grade school. I think I walked about 3 hours and am so impressed with all of my friends that walked and slept in tents and worked hard to raise money to fight cancer. I was the one team member that was also a survivor - this means I had a purple shirt instead of white and got to have a special lap with more than 40 other survivors. It was very strange compared to last year when I was just a walker. I do not wish cancer on anyone and am inspired by the spirit and humor of the other survivors. It also reminded me to slow down and appreciate the uniqueness of each day - like snowflakes no two are exactly the same. I pray to make each day joyful!

L is for Looking Up

2009-05-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

Jake has been sleeping late the last few days so I have been able to watch a little of the morning news shows. I saw an interview with Michael J. Fox about a book he just wrote -
Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist.
It reminded me about the award I got for Optimist of the month when I was in high school. I hope that I still earn that title most days. He also talked about finding happiness in each day and said that his happy moment for that day was going to be when the kids get off the bus and hearing about school and helping them with their homework - he said it was the music of life.
I have been busy getting ready for the Relay for Life - our team had a garage sale this weekend and raised over $1200! I am looking forward to hearing other people's cancer survivor stories and being inspired to keep looking up!

L is for long train ride to Seattle

2009-04-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I rode the train for 6 hours to visit my friend Susie for the weekend. I do not remember the last time I had 6 hours to myself - other than when I sleep, but that is usually interrupted by one child or another. I was surprised at how fast the 6 hours went. I read a book, worked on a sudoku puzzle and made a trip to the snack car. I am now tempted to take my boys on a train ride, maybe a shorter test trip first. I have a feeling those train rides will seem long.

My ankle is still healing and I am getting frustrated at the slow pace and still feel a constant burn. I saw my doctor last week and he was not surprised that it was taking this long - he said it would take much longer for someone in there 60's - Thank God I am still a young 40! He does not need to see me for 6 more weeks - it is strange to not have appointments every day, week, month. Of course it has been a year since my last mammogram and must keep tabs on that, but I will let that slide for now and just enjoy each day!

L is for lovely flowers

2009-04-08T15:47:00.001-07:00

Thankful List

51. Spring flowers - I love them - the bulbs I planted in the fall are now blooming.

52. Hummingbirds - On Saturday a hummingbird flew into my garage, so I took that as a sign to put out the feeder. Sunday morning a hummingbird was at the feeder.

53. Trees - I recently planted 10 trees in my yard - got them from Arbor Day foundation for $10 - they all really look like twigs in the ground, but I am already seeing some growth. Dallas recently received a Tree City USA designation.

54. Birdhouses - Luke built one and I put it on a post in the backyard - can't wait to see if someone move in.

55. Spring Weather - we were over 70 degrees the other day and the kids acted like it was summer - played in the sprinkler and did chalk drawings on the driveway.

More on my list later ..... Happy Easter!

L is for less burn

2009-03-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

I saw my radiation doctor this morning and he says it looks to be healing well and less swelling. I have been feeling the affects of the last week of treatment , so I get woken up at least once a night with a burning feeling - I put lotion on and it settles down. I think it is just going to keep getting better. The doctor wants to see me in 2 weeks and thinks that the wound should be closed by May.

The boys and I spent spring break in Newport and had a fun time with my Aunt Ginny and my Mom. We went to the beach, aquarium, marine science center and undersea garden. It was rainy, but we still had to have ice cream. I hope to continue to work on my thankful list and am also working on entering the Pillsbury bake-off.

L is for less worries

2009-03-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

My tests at OHSU all came out clear for cancer today! CAT scan of lungs took less than 10 minutes and MRI of ankle and foot took 2 hours! I am so glad to be home. I will need to have the test again in July and then every 4 months for the next 2 years. The skin on my ankle is healing well, but it was funny to see the reaction from my orthopaedic oncology doctor today - I think it was the funkiest thing he had seen all day.

L is for LAST ONE!

2009-03-13T11:05:00.001-07:00

I had my last radiation treatment today. Not sure it is a good sign that it was on Friday the 13th. I am still feeling good and ready to get on with my life. Have a great weekend!

L is for last five

2009-03-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

I just returned from my radiation treatment. I will just need to do this week and the doctor says I probably won't feel the effects until April 1st. My skin has healed well and all the doctor's staff were amazed at how much better it looked - it still has an open wound at the surgery site, but that should just keep getting better and then get a little worse and then better - the doctor thinks by May it will look good. I have a follow-up appointment with him on March 31st. I still will go to OHSU on March 18th for a CAT scan of my lungs and an MRI of my ankle. Keep up the prayers - I am doing very well!

46 - 50 on Thankful List

2009-02-27T10:29:00.000-08:00

46. Socks - the other day my feet were very cold and I actually put on socks - I have not worn socks since December. My skin has healed so well that I only needed a band aid.

47. Boxtops / Soup Labels - I am the coordinator for my boys school, so I have been kept busy cutting and counting. I enjoyed having friends over to help and we collected over 6,000 boxtops and 4,000 labels. Wow!

48. Rain - We have had some hard rain over the last week and I really enjoy hearing it pound on the windows! The funny thing is it reminded me of Wisconsin more than Oregon.

49. Teeth - Luke lost another tooth - it was a top one, so now his other top tooth is very crooked - it is hard to keep a serious face when talking with him. Jake just went on a pre-school field trip to the dentist - Grandma Joyce got to go too!

50. Seriously - This is Jake's new favorite word - it is so cute hearing it from a 4 year old. Seriously Mom I want cereal for breakfast, seriously!

Have a great weekend!

L is for Lisa gets to decide

2009-02-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

I met with my radiation Doctor this morning. He says that my skin is healing well. Last week it blistered and then drained. He said to come back in two weeks and I can decide if I want more treatments. Studies show that 6,000 units is what you need - I have had 5,000. It could have gotten all the cancer, but there is no way to know - if I get another tumor they would want to amputate. So...I can get 1,000 more units (5 treatments) or just be done. My first thought was Yeah! I am all done, but since I have thought about it and feel like I am healing well I say BRING IT ON!

L is for luminary

2009-02-22T14:36:00.001-08:00

This week I attended our first meeting for our Relay for Life team - we walked with a team from the boys school (Whitworth Elementary) last May. For those of you who don't know Relay for Life raises money to fight cancer. I enjoyed this event last year and we bought and decorated luminary bags for Bud's Dad and my Mom - these candle bags are lined up around the track and then are lite so you can see them as your walk during the night - it was very touching to find each bag. This year I know I will make a bag for myself - I also know that when I find it on the track I will break down in tears. I will be grateful that I will be able to walk and that my Mom is still living a full and happy life, but I know I will cry for the loss of Bud's Dad - he had a wonderful life, but we still miss him. The event will again be in May and our team is working on fundraising - we plan to do a garage sale and car wash. I am adjusting to the fact that I am one of the people everyone is fighting for, but I will keep walking, fighting, praying and laughing!

L is for lack of radiation treatments

2009-02-16T09:40:00.000-08:00

I saw my doctor this morning and he is having me take another week off from radiation treatments. I agree that another week off will be good, my skin looks bad, but it looks worse than it feels. I am starting to think that they have already killed every cancer cell that was there. I will see the doctor again next Monday and he will decide if I need a few more treatments or if I am done.

I now need to decide what to do while I am waiting this week. I know I need to rest, but I also have boxtops and labels to clip and submit for the grade school. I have friends coming over on Tuesday to help with that. I have also had several people tell that I should be a writer, so I am thinking about writing a children's book - any ideas for me?

Keep the healing prayers coming - I know I feel them!

L is for longer list

2009-02-11T16:02:00.000-08:00

Working more on my thankful list - here is 41 - 45

41. Valentines - the boys have been getting ready to give them at school - they decided I should have the Batman one that says "Have No Fear" and the Power Ranger one that says "Jump For Joy" - I told them I will jump for joy when my treatments are done!

42. Silly Books - I have always enjoyed books, but love when I read to my boys and we can laugh together - Luke's current favorite is Captain Underpants - I would never have been caught reading this when I was a girl, but as a mom of 3 boys I am starting to understand potty humor.

43. Power Rangers - this is also something I never understood, but enjoy learning with my boys - they like to have me quiz them at dinner time - what color ranger is Cole?, what power rangers are brothers?, etc.

44. Pokemon - also something that I don't think I would have liked as a girl, but enjoy listening to them play doing pretend attacks and all 3 sometimes play nice. I still don't understand the cards and the trading, but they love to do that with friends - Jake even has some cards.

45. Imagination - I played with Jake for an hour yesterday and we used no toys and I was able to sit on the couch with my foot up - I was either Storm or Kitty and he was Logan or Bobbie - Can you guess what we were playing?

Radiation Update - my skin is burnt and hurts - sometimes wakes me up at night - it still does not hurt to walk other than the skin being tight - the incision site is still a little oozy and kind of looks like a vampire bite. My boys still say it looks freaky!

L is for less hair

2009-02-06T17:36:00.000-08:00

I got my haircut last week and finally got a good picture - the other picture is from January - the cute boy with me is Jake.

L is for later

2009-02-05T10:26:00.000-08:00

I met with my Doctor this morning and he told me that he wants me to take a break from treatments. He will look at my skin again on Feb 16th and then decide if I should take another week off or start that day. My ankle does look bad and is starting to ooze - it looks worse than it feels - I am still walking fine and feeling no need for pain medications - I use two special creams on it and soak it for 20 minutes each night and then apply a gel type patch (what they use for burn patients) - I leave the patch on for 2 hours . I think I only have 7 treatments to go, but the Doctor just said we will see. So I get to keep up taking good care of myself and I am getting pretty good at that. My boys have learned to save me steps and I am getting better at asking them to do what they can. My Mom is coming for a few days while Bud has meetings out of town and my neighbors and friends are still bringing food and driving me when I need to just get out. I need to work more on my thankful list - maybe I can get that done while I am not riding back and forth to Salem next week.

L is for less skin radiated

2009-02-03T12:49:00.001-08:00

Today was my first treatment of field reduction - this means they treat a smaller area and do not go as deep in the ankle. My skin is starting to look worse and the doctor is considering having me take a break for a week or two to let my skin heal some. I have 9 more to go and then will be done - just don't know when that done date is yet.

Happy Friday?

2009-01-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

I am glad that it is Friday - two days off with no treatments, but I am a little depressed that I still have two weeks to go. I know I will look back and this time will have gone by fast, but when you are in the middle of it times seems to crawl. We have a normal busy weekend planned with basketball, church and maybe go to a Superbowl party. Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend.

Update

2009-01-26T21:09:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the prayers - my Grandmother did well with her surgery and is at home recuperating.

My Dr. changed the area that will get treatment - it is smaller and will be more shallow energy so it will not pass all the way through my ankle. He said I have between 10 and 15 treatments left. Yeah!

Thankful List

35. Meals - I have had several wonderful church members bring meals for my family - I can always tell they were made with love.

36. Giving Back - I am looking forward to the day when I can help others in need.

37. Computers - help me stay in touch with the outside world

38. Feet - I am very grateful for my two working feet and ankles - can't believe I thought about giving one up.

39. My Health - I am amazed at how well my body is handling what is going on - I know that a positive attitude helps - thanks to all my supporters.

40. Sleep - I will be in bed soon and wonder what I will dream about.

Request for Prayers

2009-01-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

Hi All - My Grandma Berta (my Mom's Mom) is going to have surgery for breast cancer tomorrow. Please pray for her speedy recovery and no complications.

Prayer

2009-01-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

Number 34 on my thankful list is praying

I found this prayer the other day and really like it:

Dear Lord, you give me another day of life, a treasure that I too often ignore. Give me the strength to acknowledge your infinite generosity and goodness. Show me the way this day to express my gratitude for all you have given me. Help me share this bounty with those in need. Amen.

Radiation update:

I am about half way done with my treatments - it is starting to feel more burnt and I don't like to wear socks or even have my pants rub on it. It has been 35 degrees and below every morning, but I don't even mind having my foot bare. The doctor will adjust my treatment next week to a more narrow area on my ankle - not sure if this means a more concentrated dose in that area. I am still able to walk without pain - so I am very thankful!

Here goes 21-30

2009-01-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

Thankful list

21. Sunshine - last three days the sun has really lifted my spirits!

22. Basketball - William and Luke are both enjoying learning to play and are right now outside practicing with each other on the driveway - we don't even have a hoop.

23. Wii - William and Jake finally found something they will play together and not fight - most of the time - they really like Super Smash Bros Brawl.

24. Aunts - I am very blessed with many special Aunts on both sides of my family.

25. Uncles - I will not leave you out - you keep my Aunts busy!

26. Cousins - I have lost count of how many I have but enjoy the uniqueness of each one - this includes, second and third - etc.

27. Nephews - Bryce, Tylor and now Evan - very special friends to my boys - I am looking forward to a niece sometime soon.

28. Grandparents - I have not forgot you - I love you all for the gifts - material and not so material.

29. Joyce and Terry - speaking of unique - they are wonderful and always full of love and support.

30. Jim and Jeanette - I love following you on your adventures - even if I just follow you by website, emails and phone calls.

31. Michael and Robin - wonderful new married couple - love how they support each other.

32. Borja Family - you know who you are - each one of you is special to me and I miss seeing you more often.

33. Bud - just enjoyed a busy Sunday with church, lunch out, haircuts, carwash and now basketball with the boys.

Oops! - went past 30 - I got carried away and did not want to leave anyone out - if you feel left out - email me so I can include you on 34-100.

L is for lazy or lethargic

2009-01-15T09:49:00.000-08:00

Not sure if it is from the radiation or just life, but I am tired all the time and my brain sometimes has a hard time putting thoughts together. I have had drivers this week and it has been good to rest my ankle more and nice to have company for the drive. Still just an internal burn feeling sometimes and my skin is getting brown. I have now had 13 treatments more than 1/3 done!

More on my list

2009-01-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

I have completed 9 treatments and have just started to feel a little internal burning in my ankle. It is hard to wait to get them all done. I need to work on my thankful list so I don't get depressed, so here goes 11 - 20

11. God - this list is not in order and I did not forget you!
12. Catholic Church - I love the traditions!
13. Cookies - I am going to enter a cookie baking contest - I have always wanted to do this and I have already tried my first test batch - yummy!
14. Cameras - I love taking pictures - I realized that I did not take a picture for almost 3 weeks after I found out I had cancer - makes me sad to think that I was so lost in fear that I did not think to do something that makes me happy.
15. Mail - I have been getting many get well cards and packages - this helps keep my spirits up - I also enjoy emails.
16. Lotion - I have always loved lotions with wonderful smells - now I have one that does not smell for my ankle, but it seems to be working well for my skin.
17. Birthday Cake - Always brings a smile to my face and I get to take pictures!
18. Sand - hot or cold between my toes - wet or dry - run or walk - you always take some home to clean out of your car - leaves good memories.
19. Ocean - where you find the best sand - always changing - could stare at it for hours.
20. Seagulls - I used to not even look at these birds and then last weekend they were always on our balcony - one morning William and I stepped out to get a closer view and the seagulls swarmed us - we both jumped back in surprise and starting laughing - I guess they were looking for breakfast, but we had none for them - one that we studied closely had a bent toe - they normally have 3 toes - we walked on the beach and found the seagull prints with 2 toes and knew who they belonged to - cool!

Jake's Birthday

2009-01-05T20:03:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful weekend at the coast for Jake's 4th birthday and then had a Batman cake at home with family. I survived my 5th treatment today and I am feeling good.

L is for lists, lists and more lists.

2009-01-01T21:43:00.000-08:00

Both my husband and I love lists - we enjoy making them and then crossing off what has been accomplished. On New Year's Eve I started thinking about a New Year's Resolution List - I don't usually make one of these lists, but I have been doing a lot of things lately that I don't normally do. As I was thinking about my list I remembered some people have lists of 100 things they want to do before they die - I do not feel like this would be a good list for me, I already have my list of songs , I have a list of people that are going to drive me to my treatments, I have a list of groceries, I have a list of doctors, but someone told me they are inspired by their list of 100 thing they are thankful for and praise God everyday for these things - this is a much better list for me, so I want to start one - I think I will just do 10 right now and then add as I want to.

Lisa's Thankful List

1. Rainbows - I saw one when I was driving to my first radiation treatment and it made me smile.
2. Family - I am so blessed with so many wonderful and supportive family members.
3. Friends - I am equally blessed with old and new friends helping and praying for me.
4. My boys - they always find a way to make me laugh everyday.
5. Books - I am always more focused and relaxed when I am reading a book - my favorite part is always the middle.
6. Tea - I stopped drinking coffee and soda - so now I drink at least 3 cups of tea a day.
7. Music - I love my list of songs - reminds me of how much I am loved.
8. Baths - I usually am a shower person, but one of the radiation nurses said I should take a bath, so I don't drop the shampoo bottle on my foot or don't hurt my skin from the pelts of water. The doctor had already told me to soak my foot for 20 minutes a day to increase the circulation, so why not my whole body. People say that baths are relaxing, but I am still working on that. I know this is more detail than you need, but I am trying to convince myself that I am thankful for baths because I miss my showers.
9. Birds - I love to watch them - some how they make me happy - I love hummingbirds and the sound they make when they fly.
10. Seasons - My son Luke asked me the other day what was my favorite season, he guessed it would be spring because he knows I love flowers, but I told him fall because I love to see the leaves change color, he said he likes Winter for snowball fights - I decided not to remind him that the snow is rare in Dallas, Oregon. I also love summer - going to the beach and building sandcastles with my boys.

Happy New Year!

L is for laser

2008-12-29T16:56:00.000-08:00

I had my first radiation treatments today. It was painless but very strange to have lasers pointed at my ankle - kind of felt like a bad sci-fi horror film. My schedule will be 8:50am Mon-Fri, except New Year's Day. This will last about 6 weeks. I also meet with my radiation doctor every Monday so he keeps up with my progress. This week Bud is watching the boys and next week I will drop Jake at Bud's work , but by week 3 I may need drivers and babysitters - I will be making calls or emails soon. Sorry to my loyal fans that I have not posted for a week - very busy with Christmas and then my brother got married on Saturday - both were filled with wonderful moments!

L is for little tattoo

2008-12-22T13:31:00.000-08:00

This morning I had my simulation appointment for radiation. They did a CAT scan of my ankle and created a foam impression that will hold my foot in the same position for each treatment. They also gave me 3 tattoos. Pictures of my right ankle - the tattoos are the tiny dots - the marks are permanent marker to help them find the dots. If you ever wondered if a tattoo on the ankle is painful - I can say yes! The other picture is of the henna I had done on my left ankle when I turned 40 - much less painful and fun! I also braved driving in the snow and ice - I have done this many times in Wisconsin so it does not make me nervous - it is the other drivers I worry about. Very beautiful to see everything covered in snow - I have been trapped in the house for a week with 3 boys so I was a little giddy to get out and thought it was funny to have my break be at the doctor - I always try to pretend I am at the spa!

L is for List of Songs

2008-12-20T18:21:00.000-08:00

I have 72 songs that have been suggested to me or are the ones I like to listen to right now - some of them are from my boys - I am really enjoying the variety. I have not even started to fill my ipod so keep the songs coming! I don't add every song given to me - I don't have an unlimited itunes budget and sometimes it is easier to remember one or two songs that were sent to me - I really like thinking of the person who suggested the song - I am very loved! The following list in in alphabetical order by song with the artist.

Ain't No Sunshine Buddy Guy & Tracy Chapman
All I Ask Of You Lesley Garrett & Chris Corcoran
Always On Your Side Sheryl Crow & Sting
Angel Shaggy & Rayvon
Angels We Have Heard On High VeggieTales
Bad Day Daniel Powter
Brand New Day Sting
Breathe Ross Parsley
Chicago Sufjan Stevens
The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) Alvin and the Chipmunks
Count Your Blessings Mark Lowry
Dare Stan Bush
Daydream Believer The Monkees
Don't Worry Be Happy Bobby McFerrin
Dry the Rain The Beta Band
Everybody Needs A Rainbow George Burns
Everyday Is A Winding Road Sheryl Crow
Feeling Good Nina Simone
Free Fallin' Tom Petty
Give a Little Bit The Goo Goo Dolls
Go the Distance Lucas Grabeel
God With Us St Philip Church
Great Is Thy Faithfulness Chris Rice
Healing Rain Michael W. Smith
Here Comes the Sun Beatles Abbey Road
Hungry Like The Wolf Duran Duran
Hyper-Ballad Björk
I'm Letting Go Francesca Battistelli
I'm Not Who I Was Brandon Heath
I'm Ready Angela Michael
I'm Yours Jason Mraz
I am wonderful Pat McCurdy
I Just Wanna See Smash Mouth
I Will Not Be Moved Natalie Grant
I Will Survive Gloria Gaynor
I Won't Back Down Tom Petty
If I Could Turn Back Time Cher
It's A Small World Baha Men
Joyful Sound The String Cheese Incident
Just Can't Get Enough Depeche Mode
Just The Way You Are Billy Joel
Kids In America No Secrets
Lean On Me VeggieTales
Let It Be The Beatles
Love Me Good Michael W. Smith
Make Someone Happy Jimmy Durante
The New Carissa Harry Stamper
Open The Eyes Of My Heart Paul Baloche
Praise You In This Storm Casting Crowns
Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head Burt Bacharach & B.J. Thomas
Ripple The Grateful Dead
See You Again Kidz Bop Kids
Shout Tears for Fears
Smile Jimmy Durante
Stand Jewel
Stillness - Speak to Me Aaron Shust
Stomping Grounds Béla Fleck & The Flecktones
Streets of Gold Robin Williams & Linda Williams
Strong Tower Kutless
Sunshine On My Shoulders John Denver
The Sweet Escape Gwen Stefani Feat. Akon
Three Little Birds Bob Marley & The Wailers
Top of the World Carpenters
The Touch Stan Bush
Tubthumping Chumbawamba
Walk On U2
What a Wonderful World Louis Armstrong
Who Am I Casting Crowns
Wild Boys Duran Duran
You Raise Me Up St Philip Church
Young At Heart Jimmy Durante
100 Years Five for Fighting

L is for Radiation???

2008-12-18T15:42:00.000-08:00

I met my radiation Doctor in Salem today. He was very nice and very confident in the effectiveness of radiation. They will do the radiation simulation on Dec 22nd and then start radiation on Dec 29th. I will need 33 treatments - about 7 weeks Monday - Friday. They will try schedule for morning appointments. He is not very worried about me being fatigued but said the skin around my ankle will hurt and might want to have a cane to walk about 3 weeks into the treatment. Merry Christmas and happy last minute shopping!

L is for lasting memories

2008-12-16T09:14:00.001-08:00

After I found out I had cancer I cried for 3 days and then decided to tell my boys. I did not want them to hear me talking about cancer and be afraid. I have decided if cancer is not a secret then it can not hurt me. I had to stop crying to tell them so they would not worry - they all took it very well and were back to playing like normal in no time. I am always amazed how kids just roll with the punches. I have also been trying to find a moment each day that I can say this was a great day and thank you God for this moment. On Sunday we had snow - this only happens once a year in Dallas, Oregon and then usually not enough to play in - so we made sure we made the most of it and made a snowman. As you can see these are pictures of my boys - my three bright lasting memories everyday! That snow has now melted and been replaced by snow that is too dry and cold to build anything - grab those moments when you can. The boys are on their second snow day off from school and getting bored - time to work on my moment for today.

L is for lagging appointments

2008-12-12T19:36:00.000-08:00

I finally got a call from Salem Hospital about my radiation treatments. I have an appointment for next Thursday Dec 18th for a consultation. Of course the appointment is in the morning when Jake's pre-school is having their Christmas party - Bud will cover this for me, but it makes me sad to miss this special time. I will then need to have an appointment for a simulation of my radiation and then they will schedule my radiation appointments. I am discouraged because I made the decision for radiation over a week ago and now I have to wait. I am not worried about the cancer spreading, but anyone who knows me knows I like to plan and this is slowing my planning process. I know that it will go smoother if I just relax and wait for their schedule - I will just listen to my music when I get nervous. Thanks again for all the prayers, songs, offers of help and emails of encouragement.

L is for lovely gingerbread house

2008-12-12T19:30:00.000-08:00

L is for latest results

2008-12-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

Good News! My PET scan is clear - this means that cancer has not spread to my nodes. I still need to do radiation in my ankle and am still waiting for that schedule. I will need to go back to OHSU in four months to have CAT and MRI done - this will happen for the next 3 years. My Aunt Susan went with me again and we stopped for dinner at a salad buffet - yummy! Joyce stayed with the boys and Jim and Jeanette are on their way back to Elkton.

L is for listening

2008-12-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

Fun news first is that I got my ipod today and have been happily listening to all the songs suggested for me. Thanks - keep the songs coming! I went to OHSU today for my PET scan. I had to not eat for 6 hours before my scan which was at 2pm - so I had to not eat after 8am. Anyone that knows me well knows that I get cranky when I am hungry, but I did pretty good - the hard part was lunch with Jake before I left - he really wanted me to eat something - so I had to listen to him complain about me only drinking water. Jeanettte was kind enough to drive me and my Dad stayed with the boys for the afternoon. Before the scan they inject you with radioactive glucose and then tell you to take a nap for an hour - also anyone who knows me knows that I do not like naps - he would not even let me read my book or listen to my new ipod - so I had to listen to silence. The PET scan would have gone smoothly except that the computer would not listen to the tech - so it took four trys before he could get it to start - I had to lay still with my hands over my head for at least 1/2 hour, but this machine makes no noise compared to the MRI. You have lots of time to think when you are in these machines, but you are supposed to relax - I of course thought about my cancer - I felt really good that I made it to 40 years old with any surgery, now I have had more tests done than I ever imagined would happen to me - life changes so quickly. I saw my radiation doctor in the hallway and he told me that he did call Salem Hospital - now I just get to wait for them to contact me with my radiation schedule. I know that God is listening to all your prayers! Thank you!

This week L is for loathing

2008-12-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

I am not looking forward to this next week - more waiting and worrying. I have my PET scan on Monday at OHSU and then find out the results on Wed at OHSU. I am waiting to find out my radiation schedule and might have some appointments this week. Bud leaves this morning for a conference all week in Las Vegas. Jim and Jeanette arrive tomorrow to stay with me and the boys and then on Wed Joyce will switch with them for the rest of the week. The one thing I am looking forward to to making Gingerbread Houses with the boys and my Aunt Ginny on Thurs. We are busy decorating the house for Christmas and the boys always make that fun. I want to focus on enjoying that with them. Keep those prayers and songs of encouragement coming.

December 4 2008 - Inspiration!

2008-12-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to stay up beat and strong through this whole experience, but I need help to keep going. I am getting an IPOD and I want to load it with songs from all of my supporters - I am thankful for all of you! Please email or put in the comments what your inspirational song would be - if you were in my situation what song would you want to hear to keep you positive - I don't want you to worry about if I would like the song or not - it will just be fun for me to think of you when I listen to the song or songs.

December 3 2008 OHSU revisited

2008-12-04T21:58:00.000-08:00

Aunt Susan and Jim went with me to OHSU to find out my MRI results and the next steps for treatment. We met with the orthopedic surgeon first and he said the my ankle and foot MRI shows no more tumors, but from the tumor they removed they could see on the outside margins that there were cancer cells, so the know that there is still cancer in my ankle. They are not able to just remove those cells because they are microscopic and they like to have a 1 inch clean margin around the tumor site - I know that I do not have an inch to give on my ankle because they would run into bone and other stuff that I need to walk. He said that I should take action soon by either amputation or radiation. He wanted me to decide in the next couple of days. He also said that there were no statistics to say either option would cure me. He said if it was his ankle he would start with radiation and then have amputation as the back up plan if tumors came back. The radiation specialist said the same things and also said with radiation it could cause shrinkage of the fluid around the ankle so that it is stiff and painful to walk, but that may not appear until 5,10, 15 years. The main side effect of radiation is tiredness - I am already tired all the time with 3 active boys - so this should be not big deal -ha, ha! I would need to receive 33 treatments 5 days a week starting soon, but I could go to the Salem Hospital for the treatments. I did sleep on my decision and have realized that I like my foot and ankle and will try to keep them around as long as I can. I have now made future appointments for a PET scan - will check my whole body for cancer and also the appointment to review the PET. I will post those when they happen.

November 26 2008 OHSU

2008-12-04T21:56:00.000-08:00

Aunt Susan, Jim and Jeanette went with me on this adventure. Bud came home early from work and we were on the road by 1pm. We got there in time for the appointment and then waited for 45 minutes to see the doctor - but we had a beautiful view of downtown Portland! I first met with the orthapedic surgeon and he talked about synovial sarcoma being a soft tissue cancer and that synovial sarcomas are rare only 15,000 cases a year in the US. He reviewed my CAT scan and said that my lungs were clear - whew! He also said that I would need a CAT scan every 4 months for a least 3 years. He said he needed to see an MRI of my foot and ankle before we could really talk about treatments, but options could be amputation, radiation, surgery, or chemo or any combination. Next we met the Chemothearapy Doctor who said that my tumor was small and since my lungs were clear that I did not need chemo. I said "Nice to meet you - goodbye!" They decided that I would wait to meet the radiation specalist after my MRI. They were able to schedule my MRI for 9pm that night - my support group said they were willing to wait it out - it was 4pm - so we had 5 hours to have fun. We actually had a wonderful night on the town - we rode tram down the hill (the view was beautiful at sunset) and then we took the streetcar to Powell's book store, but decided we needed to eat first so we went to Noodles & Co for a nice meal, we then browsed and bought books. Susan knew of a cupcake place down the block so we decided we had time to get some sugar! Unfortunately it was closed, but Ben and Jerry's was open. Susan and I both did not have coats and it was cold, but we still both got ice cream that we ate as we walked to the streetcar stops while the cold wind blew. Each streetcar stop showed the time until arrival so we walked about 7 stops before I said "Stop!" We only had to wait 5 minutes and then we got back to OHSU early for my MRI. I checked in at 8:30pm with the expectation that it would take 1 hour. They did not finish with me until 11:15pm. I was very disoriented and ready to go home. For those of you that have not had MRI let me tell you that they do not hurt, but they make very loud strange noises and the music in the room I was in kept cutting in and out so I had to come up with distractions for myself and at the same time not move or even wiggle my toes. I wish I could say that I slept and had peaceful dreams. And by the way this was the day before Thanksgiving. Bud and William were flying to Chicago very early the next day and I was headed to Coos Bay with Jake, Luke, Jeanette and Jim.

November 21 2008 Stitches

2008-12-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Went to Salem to see surgeon for post-op appointment and to remove stitches. He and his nurse were very kind and supportive of my situation, but he did mention the possibility of the cleanest way to not have cancer would be amputation - What???
The stitches came out easy and now when the boys see my ankle the say it looks "freaky" - makes me laugh and I need that.

November 20 2008 CAT

2008-12-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

In the morning I received a call from the oncologist in Salem. He told me that he wanted me to skip my appointment with him and go to OHSU instead to meet a team of sarcoma specialists. He also said I needed a CAT scan of my lungs because 85% of the time if sarcoma spreads it goes to the lungs. Jake was in pre-school again that afternoon so I was able to schedule the time. My neighbor Susan had asked if I wanted to go shopping in Salem to keep me busy and not think about the cancer - she was nice enough to still go with me to the CAT scan - we were able to get a little food treat at the mall before going to Salem Hospital. The CAT scan only took 10 minutes and was painless. We waited longer to get a copy of it on disc and then realized we needed to hurry up to get Jake so I decided to come back the next day for the disc. Never a dull moment!

November 18 2008 The News

2008-12-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

It had been one week since my surgery, I had just picked up Jake from pre-school and was driving home to be in time to get William and Luke off the school bus and then I received a call from my surgeon. He told me that he "just about feel off his chair" when he read the results of the biopsy. He told me that I had synovial sarcoma and that he wanted me to call an oncologist in Salem. I quickly wrote all the information down, after I dug through my car looking for paper and pen. I had to compose myself and get the other boys off the bus. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful neighbor who I felt comfortable telling right away. I made arrangements with her to watch all the boys with her kids so I could make phone calls and research on the net. I think I was in shock most of the day and it took until the next morning to actually make an appointment with the oncologist for the next week. The hardest part of the day was waiting for Bud to come home so I could tell him the news - it had only been three weeks since we attended the funeral of his dear father who had died of cancer. Lots of tears that night. It still took me a couple of days before I was able to break the news to my family and my boys - they are so wonderful. It is still hard to shock people with the news.

November 11 2008 Ankle Surgery

2008-12-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

It was Veteran's Day and William, Luke and Jake were off from school. I had surgery on my ankle - the doctor's first thought I had bursitis ( I first noticed the bump around October 2007 but took me some time before I made the time to see my doctor) , but after a cortisone shot did not last they sent me to an orthopedic surgeon who said he thought it was a ganglion cyst and he could remove it. The doctor discovered it was actually a tumor, but he told Bud that he thought it was benign - he still sent it for tests. I enjoyed my few days off as a Mom during my recovery - Jim and Jeanette played with the boys and Bud brought me food and pain killers, I read books, watched TV and slept at all hours of the day.